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CineQuote Newsletter #34

CineQuote Newsletter #34

Knowing is half the battle.

CineQuote.net Team
May 12, 2025

Although it was close to rounding out the bottom of the week with the Lowest Win Percentage, G.I. JOE: THE MOVIE did enough to avoid infamy. There were a few live action G.I. Joes to choose from, so again, if it sounds like an 80s cartoon, chances are it is. Those release dates in the search box will help you when you’re down to your last guess sometime. This movie is the subject of a Mandela Effect false memory. Many kids remember team leader Duke dying in this movie (bro got impaled with a cobra dart) and after it was released to theaters and the subsequent traumatizing of children, the studio went back and changed his fate to a coma, of which he miraculously recovered, releasing the new version onto video. However, there are still some who are convinced they saw the version where Duke dies, even though, by all accounts, it only happened in the script and was softened before the public ever saw it. So no, Duke doesn’t die (spoiler) but many a drunken brawl has begun over this cinematic incongruity.

This type of hard-hitting journalism we know is the reason you read this newsletter, and we promise to never waver in our commitment to the truth. Yo, Joe.

Happy Monday. There’s also a new Sci Fi Pack for you to play when ready, but for now, let’s look at the numbers…

Last Week’s Highlights

Highest Win Percentage

93.4%

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Lowest Win Percentage

61.5%

Wayne’s World 2 (1993)

We can’t really label SPIDER-MAN 3 a “Marvel” movie. Sony still holds the reigns for this one, but it does have a Marvel-like win rate this week. 93.4% of you know your friendly neighborhood superhero and/or your memes. Oh, how did that quote get in there? Not sure how we all survived Spider-Man 3 and the Tobey Maguire strut-dance of aught 7, but if you’re reading this, then hey congrats, you’re tough to keep down.. That could have been it right there for most of us. Do NOT click this link if you just ate.

WAYNE’S WORLD 2 drew the short straw this week. Hard if you couldn’t recognize the voice of Aurora, Illinois’ local public access stars. So don’t feel bad if you guessed some random Bill Murray movie, or even Some Like It Hot, something tells me you’re gonna get it right when WWII comes back around. That’s the proper shortening of Wayne’s World 2 right? Ok, good.

Stanley Tucci as Bellini in Conclave (2024)

“I've come to ask for your forgiveness. I had the temerity to tell you to examine your heart, when all the time it was my own, but it's... shameful.”

How could we not do CONCLAVE this week? As soon as we heard “Habemus Papam”, we quickly shuffled the deck, kicked Mac & Me or whatever out to September, and brought in the only movie we know about tense, inner sanctum papal liaisons. There actually was an Italian movie called We Have a Pope that some of you guessed by mistake, but many immediately heard “The Tucc” and knew what we were up to. 30.6% Ace Rate is downright holy. There’s just no fooling you pious ones. If you haven’t seen Conclave, no time like the present to see him portray Cardinal Bellini, and in the meantime here’s comedian Matt Friend doing an impression of Tucci making a bellini.

CQ Recommends

We recommend giving your donkey plenty of exercise.

Frankenweenie (1984)

A young boy sets out to revive his dead pet using the monstrous power of science.

A year before he did Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, Tim Burton crafted a 29 minute short film featuring Shelley Duvall, Daniel Stern, Barret Oliver, and an adorable bull terrier. Might also be the origin’s of Burton’s “patchwork” kink, who knows. In 2012, this would get the animation remake, but I have a soft spot for the 1984 original, and even though Disney fired Tim Burton for making this and “wasting their resources” it can be streamed on Disney Plus as you’re reading this. Maybe someone owes Burton an apology. Ain’t that right…WALT?

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